[00:00:00] Narrator: The monkey’s magic eyeball.
[music]
[00:00:03] Woman: What’s this thing you sent me?
[00:00:05] Freddie: What?
[00:00:05] Woman: This-this-this thing in a jar.
[00:00:08] Freddie: It’s a monkey’s eyeball.
[00:00:09] Woman: A monkey’s eyeball?
[00:00:11] Freddie: Did you notice no matter which way you turn it, it’s always looking at you?
[00:00:14] Woman: Eww.
[00:00:15] Freddie: You like it?
[00:00:16] Woman: I hate it.
[00:00:17] Freddie: It’s not just any monkey’s eyeball. It’s from a magic monkey.
[00:00:21] Woman: Oh God.
[00:00:22] Freddie: Make a wish, it’ll come true.
[00:00:23] Woman: Are you insane?
[00:00:24] Freddie: No, try it. You’ll see.
[00:00:25] Woman: All right. I wish you take your monkey’s eyeball and stuff it right up–
[00:00:30] Freddie: No, no, no. Don’t make that wish.
[00:00:32] Woman: Will it come true?
[00:00:33] Freddie: We met a year ago today and I wanted to give you something unique.
[00:00:36] Woman: I expected something else.
[00:00:38] Freddie: What did you expect? An engagement ring? [laughs]
[00:00:40] Woman: [sighs] When you said you were giving me something shiny and round and really special, I didn’t expect a monkey’s eyeball.
[00:00:49] Freddie: Come on. You know I can’t leave my wife. I mean, you know how she is with all the–
[00:00:52] Woman: I wish you dropped dead.
[00:00:54] Freddie: [groans]
[00:00:59] Woman: Freddie? Oh, all right. I wish you’d come back from the dead.
[00:01:05] Freddie: God, that was weird. Huh.
[00:01:07] Woman: Freddie, how many wishes do I get?
[00:01:10] Freddie: Uh, three.
[00:01:12] Woman: And I’voe already used two?
[00:01:13] Freddie: Uh, I guess so.
[00:01:15] Woman: Freddie.
[00:01:16] Freddie: Yeah?
[00:01:17] Woman: I wish you the best of luck-
[00:01:19] Freddie: What?
[00:01:19] Woman: -staying dead.
[00:01:21] Freddie: [groans]
[00:01:27] Woman: Freddie? Freddie?
[00:01:39] [END OF AUDIO]
