[00:00:00] Voiceover: The Okie Dokie Swamp Thingie.
[00:00:03] Female Speaker: Where are you?
[00:00:04] Male Speaker: I’m in a swamp.
[00:00:05] Female Speaker: What swamp?
[00:00:07] Male Speaker: The Okie Dokie. I ran out of gas.
[00:00:09] Female Speaker: Oh, what are you doing?
[00:00:11] Male Speaker: I’m rowing.
[00:00:12] Female Speaker: What?
[00:00:13] Male Speaker: I found a rowboat. I’m taking a shortcut.
[00:00:15] Female Speaker: But what about the- the Swamp Thingie?
[mysterious background music]
[00:00:19] Male Speaker: What’s that?
[00:00:20] Female Speaker: You know, that thing made out of smelly swamp stuff.
[00:00:23] Male Speaker: Never heard of it.
[00:00:24] Female Speaker: You’ve never heard the story?
[00:00:26] Male Speaker: Nah, I’m not from around here.
[00:00:28] Female Speaker: Well, there was this homely teenager who was invited to a party given by a bunch of frat boys but it was really a pig party, and all the homeliest girls in town were invited and she won.
[00:00:41] Male Speaker: [chuckles] That’s pretty funny.
[00:00:42] Female Speaker: [laughs] Then her date dumped her. I mean literally dumped her right out of the car and, plop, she fell into the swamp.
[00:00:49] Male Speaker: [laughs] Yeah? What-
[00:00:50] Female Speaker: [scoffs]
[00:00:50] Male Speaker: -happened to her?
[00:00:51] Female Speaker: No one knows, they think she sank.
[frogs croaking]
[00:00:54] Male Speaker: What’s that got to do with the Okie Dokie Swamp Thingie?
[00:00:56] Female Speaker: Well, they say that mold and fungi and decaying vegetation and other foul smelly things attached themselves to her body and she became alive.
[00:01:06] Male Speaker: Phew. I can believe it, this swamp is stinky.
[00:01:08] Female Speaker: Mm-hmm. They say her fingers are made of Spanish moss.
[00:01:11] Male Speaker: Oh yeah?
[00:01:12] Female Speaker: [chuckles] Yeah. And they say she reaches out of the dark and tickles her victims.
[00:01:16] Male Speaker: Yeah [chuckles], there’s things that do tickle here.
[laughter]
[00:01:20] Female Speaker: They say she uses vines to lasso her victims.
[ominous background sound]
[00:01:23] Male Speaker: [chokes]
[00:01:24] Female Speaker: Mm-hmm. Some say she’s looking for revenge-
[00:01:26] Male Speaker: [gags]
[00:01:27] Female Speaker: -others say she’s looking for a mate.
[00:01:30] Male Speaker: [gagging]
[00:01:31] Female Speaker: That’s why no man will ever go out there alone at night.
[00:01:34] Male Speaker: [muffled noises]
[00:01:36] Female Speaker: Well, call me-
[00:01:38] Male Speaker: [chokes]
[00:01:39] Female Speaker: –if you make it home.
[00:01:40] Male Speaker: [choked to death]
[00:01:41] Female Speaker: Night.
[water splash]
[00:01:53] [END OF AUDIO]
